Almost 7 months!

My little ladies will be 7 months old in 10 days.  I can’t believe it.

I’m already planning their 1st birthday party!  How is that even possible?  We’ve chosen the theme “Thing 1 and Thing 2″ for the party because, quite frankly, they look so cute in their Thing 1 and Thing 2 onesies!

Things the girls can do:

Roll…everywhere.  Once they got the rolling part down, they’ve started making their way from one end of the living room to the other. It’s almost comical to see them look up and realize “I’m not where I was!”

Smile at everything.  They love their daddy and their mommy and they smile at us all the time.

Eat!  They are now eating a vegetable and a fruit for dinner every night (along with oatmeal bottles first thing in the morning).  Gabi loves food.  She gets mad when she has to share with Charlee.

Talk.  It’s more babbling than talking but Charlee has said Daddy and Dada a lot while looking at her daddy.  I’m still saying she’s not sure what she’s saying though since she says it when he’s not home too.  ;)

Sit up….sort of.  They can do it, for about 30 seconds at a time, and then they tip over.  But for babies that shouldn’t even be 6 months yet, I think they’re doing great!

This weekend, they’ll go swimming for the first time.

See?  I TOLD you they’re cute in their onesies:

Twin Parents Love Twins

After Easter Dinner, I needed to grab formula for the week.  I always go to Walmart, buy out the Similac Sensitive and get a few things.  And almost every single time the cashier will make a comment about the insane amount of formula I buy.

The twins have to have the premix formula which comes in 1 quart jugs.  15 will usually get us through a week but I try to buy 20, just in case (so we can have some extra in the event I can’t get to Walmart over the weekend and have to go an extra day or two – no stores in town sell the type of formula we have to have).

As I was going through the checkout, the cashier who was probably in her twenties said “And this is why I never want to have kids.  All this stuff is so expensive!  You’ll go broke buying food and diapers.  How long will this formula last you?  Like a month?”

I smiled and said “No, more like  a week, but I have twins.”

Now, usually when I drop the t-word, people say something kind about how sweet twins are and how they always wanted twins OR they go the opposite route and tell me how their cousin’s best friend’s daughter’s best friend’s uncle is a twin.  This girl apparently hadn’t figured out how to NOT be offensive.  Her response:

“Oh my GOD!  That’s absolutely AWFUL!  It’s like cruel and unusual punishment!  Seriously, if I found out I was pregnant I would be mad enough but if they said I was pregnant with twins I’d be like ‘Get them out now!  I want an abortion!’”

I was obviously shocked at her strong reaction to my children and all I could get out was “What?”

She then continued to say “Plus, you know, you NEVER get your body back after having one baby.  With twins you are NEVER going to look good again!”

To say THAT was offensive is an understatement.  For the record, I do have my body back.  I have a little extra skin around my midsection, but not much, and I currently weigh 5 to 10 pounds LESS than I weighed before I got pregnant, but I wasn’t going to go into that with her.  So I paid and started to push my cart, full of formula and diapers, away when I decided I couldn’t let her get the last word.  So I turned and said to her: “Please, don’t have sex again.  I don’t want you to procreate any more than you want to.”

The thing about twin parents is…they love twins.  I mean, I know when I found out I was having twins, I was in shock but after getting past the shock, accepting that my life was changing forever and that I may never look the same again, I fell in LOVE with the idea of having twins.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I know that some people can’t imagine having twins, some people can’t imagine having ONE baby.  But there’s no reason in the world to tell a twin mom the things this girl said to me.  I almost reported her to her manager but decided against it because I am certain that she needs the job and she just doesn’t know any better.

I just didn’t know

There are a lot of things about twins and babies in general that I just didn’t know.  It’s strange that every day I feel like my girls teach me something new.

At just over 5 months, they actually know what it’s like to “miss” someone.  Their dad had to go away for work and Gabi has been practically inconsolable at night because she wants him home.  It’s so so sad to see.  Last night she and I cried together for almost an hour because I couldn’t help her and she just didn’t understand it was a temporary thing.

I always knew babies did things on their own time, but my girls have taught me that a schedule means nothing.  Babies should roll between 3 and 4 months.  Well, one of my babies rolled once in that time frame.  Then decided it wasn’t for her.  The other then started rolling at almost 5 months.  And the one who had rolled before?  Still not for her.  It’s just not fun.

Swings are entertaining – when they’re younger than they are now.  I can get MAYBE 5 minutes out of Gabi if I put her in a swing, but Charlee?  No way.  It’s boring.  I’m probably going to move one of the swings to storage this week to help declutter the living room.  Oh, and the same goes for the bouncy chairs.  They WERE fun, for like a minute.

A smile will melt your heart, especially when you know they are smiling for you.  My girls don’t give smiles freely – you have to earn it.  OR be mommy or daddy.  Charlee has actually jumped out of someone’s arms to get to me.  It was the sweetest thing ever.

When we go out with daddy in tow, people aren’t nearly as rude.  We went to the mall and the only things said were “Look at those cute babies!”  No comments about “better you than me” or “Who’s babies are those?” or any of the silly “Are they twins?” questions.  Either they have a mean looking daddy or people think that only moms will answer their stupid questions (probably true – my husband would have likely walked the other direction if anyone had said anything truly stupid to us).

My girls are preemies.  And they aren’t going to be where they should be on any growth chart and most likely they will never do things that other babies do at the same time as the other babies.  But they are perfect.  And beautiful.

The name is NOT Charlotte

I know that sometimes people just want to be a part of the conversation, but sometimes their input is so incredibly…silly…that it’d be best if they just didn’t say a word.

My sister and I had the girls at the Chiropractor a few weeks ago when a lady asked me “OH, are they twins?”

Again, I want to say that I had one and found the other but decided against it and said yes.  She then said “Oh, a boy and a girl!”

The worst part of that comment is that the girls were wearing pink and purple pants with ruffles on their butts.  Why, yes, I TOTALLY dress my boy in pink ruffly butt pants.

“No, they’re both girls.  Identical.” I replied.

She then said “But, I heard you calling one of them Charlee.”

My response was “That’s her nickname.  Her name is Charlize.”

And the response?  ”My daughter is named Charlotte too!”

*crickets*

Where did we leave the baby???

I know that twins aren’t a super rare occurrence, but I also know that many people have never seen twins in person, so when a double snap and go stroller, which most people have never seen, comes down the mall, EVERYONE has to look.

I took the twins to the mall.  They had a great time.  My mom and sister went as back up, along with my 6 year old niece who is pretty sure she could raise the twins as well as I can (which may be true, she was very good at getting us bottles and giving us blankets and pacifiers when needed).  I will start by saying the DSNG stroller is large.  I mean, it fits two car seats.  I refer to it as my “Tractor trailer” because it’s basically as long as one when trying to maneuver through crowds.  And, of course, the day we went to the mall it was CROWDED.  I probably should have checked the website so I would have known it was Bridal Expo day.  Oops.

People love to give opinions about twins.  There’s the lady who works at JCPenney who said “I wouldn’t DARE bring twins out!  What are you thinking?” to the grandma with her own granddaughter who oohed and ahhed and then told me the girls were a little small for their age.  BUT the most annoying thing was the people who didn’t speak to me.  But who would say VERY loudly “OMG LOOK!  She has TWINS!” and point and stare.

FYI: We are not a side show at the circus.

Then there were the people who said nothing at all but who would see us coming towards them and turn to look inside the car seats to “make sure” there were twins there.  Because, as you know, many people will invest in a double stroller AND two car seats so their dolls can be more comfortable.  *eye roll*

One of my favorite parts of the trip, however, was the older gentleman who came up behind my sister and I (successfully scaring the crap out of both of us) to say “Are you missing one?”  My mom had the other baby and was walking right in front of us, with Gabi staring over her shoulder at me.  I pointed her out but later told my sister “The next time someone says that I’m going to go ‘SHIT!  WHERE did we leave the baby???’”

For your viewing pleasure: Charlee, excited about shopping.

The Birth Story

Today my twins turn 4 months old. It’s a major milestone for any baby but even more so for a preemie. Today my girls should be turning two and a half months old. Their birth is something I barely remember but, at the same time, is something I will never forget

I have a much longer version of this story but I don’t want to scare any potential moms with all the details so I’ll give you a Campbell’s soup version (condensed).

My pregnancy wasn’t bad. In fact, most of it was enjoyable and easy. I found out I was having twins when I was 7 weeks and 6 days along. Early. But that was good. I was able to begin appointments with a specialist early because identical twins require more monitoring than a singleton and even more monitoring than fraternal twins.

I took care of myself. I ate tons of veggies and lean meats. I drank, literally, 30 glasses of water a day. I didn’t eat any sweets and I gave up caffeine. Everything my doctor said to do, I did. And everything he told me not to do, I didn’t. When I was told to stop exercising, I quit. When I was told to eat more calories, I did. I was going to do everything within my power to make it to October 26, which was my goal date set by my ob and me. 36 weeks. It was all we thought I could hope for because I was small to begin with and short waisted. My body would only be able to stretch so much.

A little over a week before their birth, I told my husband something was wrong. I didn’t know what was wrong but something. I had a doctors appointment that day and all my tests came back fine. Everything was normal. My doctor told me that day he would be out of town the following Tuesday and Wednesday.

The following Tuesday was when it all went south. I started swelling. Actually that’s not completely true. I had been swelling in my legs. This time my entire body was swelling. My mom took me to the hospital where they began monitoring. My blood pressure was high. Not quite dangerously high, but high. The doctor on call ran some tests and sent me home on strict bed rest. I was to return to the hospital two days later for an NST.

On Thursday my blood pressure was even higher. The nurse called my ob and he came to the hospital immediately, leaving patients waiting at his office. I was admitted for observation.

The next morning I thought I was going home. My blood pressure was normal! But then my blood work came back and the next thing I knew, I was getting an epidural and preparing to be induced. To say I was scared would be an understatement. I didn’t want to know everything though. I’m glad I didn’t because I would’ve been more scared.

The simple version is in addition to developing preeclampsia and toxemia, I had also developed HELLP syndrome. It happened so quickly that had it not been for that last blood draw at 6 am, I would have been released.

I was hooked up to multiple IVs. Saline, magnesium, an antibiotic, pitocin, and some others I’m not even sure of. Blood was put on hold for me because a transfusion was likely imminent. The epidural was in and giving me a small dose. And then I slept. In my sleep, I would randomly wake up and request someone give me a boost of the epidural. I had a lot of visitors. I know my mom, dad and mother in law were with my husband and I almost all day. My sister left her last day at her work at noon to join us.

At 7 pm I knew I had to push. Had to. There was no waiting so they took me to the surgical delivery room, just in case. One hour later, at 8:01, my Gabrielle was born. 17 minutes later, Charlize came into the world. At 34 weeks and 2 days my babies were less than 4 pounds each. But they were crying!

I was preparing my husband to follow the girls to a NICU. I told him to get his keys and be ready. But then the pediatrician came into our room and told me “they’re breathing on their own. I have them on O2 but I don’t think they’ll need it for long. Unless something dramatically changes, they can stay here.” relief. That’s the only word to describe what I felt.

I didn’t see the girls until noon the next day. I wasn’t allowed to move because I wasn’t stable. I found out later when I started telling everyone it was time, it was because the placenta had begun to detach. I also found out later that after giving birth, my potassium levels bottomed out to dangerously low levels. There was no reason or indication either of these things were going to happen.

All of this happened 12 days before my goal date. 12 days. My girls spent 2 weeks in the nursery, but that is another post.  I’m not sharing any pictures of the twins right after birth or while they were in the hospital because they are hard to look at because they were so small.  But you’ll get a 4 month picture tonight.

Twins are hard

I like to think that I’m a well educated and intelligent woman. I knew going into my pregnancy that a baby would be hard. When I found out I was having twins, I also realized that was going to be difficult. But some days I think I didn’t realize exactly how difficult.

I LOVE my daughters. I would not give them up, either of them, for anything in the world. They are beautiful and sweet and everything I ever wanted. But, at the same time, there are two of them. If you have one baby and that baby is moderately fussy (as most babies are), you and your husband can take turns caring for the baby and calming the baby. Twins are different. Two moderately fussy twins is pretty much like having the world’s loudest screaming baby in your house. Some nights I think my neighbors have to be able to hear the twins screaming and think that we’re beating them.

When one twin starts to cry, especially at night, the other one also starts. Usually I take one and my husband takes the other. Sometimes one becomes inconsolable and simply does not want the parent that has her. So we have to switch. And sometimes, when we switch, the other baby becomes inconsolable because SHE wanted THAT parent too!

They also will feed off of one another. One cries so the other cries. One screams so the other tries to scream louder. I can’t even imagine how parents of triplets deal with fussy babies. Each month I hope this is the month that they will outgrow the fussy nights but we’re still waiting.

Not every night is bad though. And some nights are worse than others. But I think sometimes when people hear they are having twins they think of how cute it will be to dress them alike and how fun it will be to have two babies when the truth is it’s hard to have twins. Even if they sleep through the night, like my girls do, it’s hard to take care of two babies all the time. And taking care of them alone is nearly impossible.

But, like I said, I wouldn’t trade my girls for anything. They’re worth all the screaming and fussing and breakdowns they have because they are mine.

What people don’t know

It’s amazing to me what people don’t know about twins – or rather what people THINK that know that isn’t true.

This past weekend, Gabi and I were running errands (Charlee hasn’t got to go with me yet due to being sick) and we went in a local hardware store.  Think Home Depot but smaller.  Anyway, a girl was cutting some house keys for me, which btw, don’t even WORK so that’s annoying, when a co-worker came over and started oohing and ahhing over Gabi.  She asked how old she was and when I told her she said “Is she small?”  So of course I had to say “She and her twin sister were born 6 weeks early.”

Then the girl reveals “I’m 9 weeks pregnant.  And I could be having twins.”

I inquired as to the “could be” part of her statement.  She then tells me “I have a cousin who had twins and my boyfriend has a twin sister.”

*crickets*

Now, if you make that statement to someone who doesn’t have twins they would probably respond with “OMG!  You are SO having twins!”  When you make that statement to a twin mom the first response is “Are your cousin’s twins identical or fraternal?”  To which she responded “Identical boys!”  *Squeal*

I kind of nodded.  I didn’t want to correct the girl because she was just that – a girl.  Probably 19 years old, an unexpected pregnancy and fantasizing about how adorable twins are.  So for those who don’t know, here’s what I would have liked to have said.

“You know, there’s not really a genetic reason for identical twins – they don’t run in families, they just happen.  You have a less than 1% chance of having identical twins.  And as for your boyfriend being a twin, that doesn’t matter either because the gene is only in the female – your boyfriend could pass the fraternal gene to his daughter, but he can’t give it to you because you would have to have the hyperovulation gene, which you COULD have because anyone can have it, but saying him being a twin will cause you to have twins is not correct.”

I didn’t say any of that.  Instead I responded with “Oh, when will you find out?”

She says “My doctor actually said I had a greater than 80% chance of having twins because of my cousin and my boyfriend.  He’s going to do an ultrasound in 10 weeks.”

What I wanted to say: “Honey, if your doctor said that, you should find a new one because he’s a quack.  And everyone has an ultrasound around 20 weeks…”

What I did say was: “Well, honestly, for your sake I hope it’s just one.  Twins are really hard.”

She rolled her eyes at me (which was what I wanted to do at her during the entire conversation) and said “They aren’t THAT hard.”

Now, I’m hoping she has twins…

Twin Separation Anxiety

When I got pregnant and found out I was having twins, one thing that I thought about a LOT was “What will I do when I need to go to the store?” Taking one baby to the store, from what my friends had told me, was nearly impossible. Taking TWO? Seriously? We did the Walmart thing one day, but we were after very little (basically just formula for the girls). For all my other grocery trips, I’ve simply gone alone, leaving the girls with their dad.

Until on Saturday, about two weeks ago. I needed to go to the store. The girls were fussing and, quite frankly, no one wanted to keep them both at that point. So I said “I’ll take Gabi, you keep Charlee.” For the first time ever, the girls were going to be separated for the day.

On my end, it wasn’t so bad. Gabi and I went to Lowe’s and had keys made (that don’t eve work…ugh), then we went to Sam’s Club, then we went to Walmart and finally we ran into a local sub shop to grab dinner. Gabi had a minor meltdown in Sam’s because she was starving so we took a shopping break, sat on a bench, and ate.

I think that I get almost as many looks and questions when I have one with me as I do when I have two. I had a lady ask me how old Gabi was and when I said 3 months, she responded with “You are NOT feeding her enough! She’s too small for 3 months!” I finally had to stop the woman from scolding me and point out that Gabi was a) a twin and b) 6 weeks premature. After that she said I was probably feeding her enough. Um, she did weigh less than 4 pounds at birth and, on that day, weighed over 10 pounds. I think she eats just fine.

After hearing she was a twin, the guy behind me in line told me how his cousin’s best friend had twins and she made it 39 weeks so it’s possible. I responded with “I know that.” I sometimes think people simply don’t know what to say about twins, so they say the first dumb thing that pops in their head. I will assume this guy didn’t realize that by saying “It’s possible to make it 39 weeks” he made me feel like he was saying to me “You could have gone longer, what’s wrong with you?” I know he didn’t say that, but I’m very sensitive about the fact that the girls and I didn’t make it longer than 34 weeks.

Gabi and I successfully bought all the food we needed for the week (and then some because who doesn’t love ice cream???). When we got home, Charlee was still fussing a little and when she saw me, it turned into a full-blown CRY. Gabi was sleeping in her car seat so I sat down with Charlee trying to figure out what was wrong. The child was practically inconsolable. So finally, I walked her into the kitchen and as soon as she saw Gabi sleeping in her car seat, Charlee stopped crying and was happy again.

Twins are the neatest thing in the world.

For all of those with one baby – shopping with one is SIMPLE.  Gabi went everywhere with me and it wasn’t stressful or hard at all.  I didn’t even have a stroller, just grabbed the car seat and went wherever we needed to go.  Next weekend, Charlee gets to go!

And here she is. Gabi out shopping with mommy:

Go Marshall

No matter the outcome, these babies know not to cheer for WVU.